Before getting down and dirty, first things first: communication builds trust and understanding.

If you want to give it a go, talk it over with your partner first. Tell them what you want and let them know that they can say yes or no. Talking together has the advantage of strengthening the trust between you both. And, as a newly qualified expert (at least in theory!), you can explain exactly how it works. But ultimately, it should be a wonderful mutual experience that you can both sensually enjoy.

Take care of your hands!

To make sure the fistee is not hurt, the fister should keep their fingernails short and filed smooth and remove any jewellery. The active partner should always wear latex gloves – it is easy to cause injuries in the anal canal or intestine, so the infection risk increases for both parties. This means it is important to protect your hands appropriately. Always use a new glove for each new partner.

Take it slow

Although fisting means anal penetration with the fist, you need to start off gently. As the active partner, penetrate the anus with one or two fingers first, making sure you are using plenty of personal lubricant of course! If that is comfortable, you can add other fingers, then eventually insert your whole hand, and finally the fist. It is important to communicate openly and honestly, before and while fisting. And always keep a clear head: some fistees use poppers or narcotics to reduce the sensation of pain. However, these drugs can cause the active partner to lose control and hurt the passive partner. And in turn, the passive partner might not notice if they have been hurt.

Afterplay

If you want to have sex after fisting, it is a good idea to take a short break. The anal muscles need some time to relax again and contract – otherwise you will feel hardly any friction during penetration. You should also always use a condom because it is easy for injuries to occur during fisting.

And, finally, the most important thing:

Use (the right) personal lubricant!

This is a really important point and cannot be stressed enough: for any kind of anal sex, you need a good personal lubricant to avoid pain and injuries. Look at quality and invest in a medical personal lubricant. Supposed substitutes, like vegetable fat, are not suitable for introducing into the body and not compatible with condoms, making them unsafe.